Happy Monday! When I scrolled across this meme [So far you’ve survived 100% of your worst days. You’re doing great], I went back and read it again several times. Wow, I thought, what a great way to put life into perspective. It was such an important reminder that whatever you have experienced, you have also survived it. YOU ARE DOING GREAT!
I wanted to share this as an affirmation for someone else who may be in that dark moment. In my book, Authentic Me: A Story of Strength, Perseverance and Faith, I recount in Chapter 6: Breaking Point, the feeling of being in a “deep, dark place.” I’ve been very transparent about the pain of domestic abuse, publicized divorce proceedings and losing custody of my three children. I recall many days where I felt embarrassed, guilty and at the point of no return thinking of the unfairness of it all. I feel strongly, and definitely with a hint of bias, that there is no love greater than a mother’s love. So to have your children ripped away from you for no reason is a huge blow and one that has taken intentional, purposeful effort to move towards healing. As is often stated, hurt people hurt people, and the last thing you want is to embody the darkness of the person that hurt you. There are many of us who suffer setbacks in life, whether it comes in the form of illness, betrayal, financial woes or other misfortunes. However, we are still here to authentically share our stories: we survived 100% of our worst days- a winning record!
Things I’ve learned:
1. Turn pain into power by using pain as a reference point!
Sometimes we want to forget that something bad happened to us and we’re succumbed by the notion that if we’re still thinking about it, we haven’t really gotten over it. I’m not a fan of this philosophy. Instead, I feel you should in fact remind yourself that you’ve not only been through that thing… you’ve actually overcome it. If you can survive what you feel was your worst day, you are definitely prepared for anything that is to come. Next…
2. Dismantle outside voices
I don’t mean “haters”, because those voices shouldn’t be of concern to you in any event. Instead, I’m referencing your friends, family who innocently provide advice regarding how you should handle your situation. I have some breaking news to share: not many of them could handle what you’re going through! It’s your journey, your burden and while sound advice and guidance is good, always act upon and move within the confines of your own inner voice. It’s your life, your purpose and more often than not, only you will completely comprehend the vision for your life.
3. Get the negativity out!
Scream, dance, cry if you must… but release any frustration that you are holding inside! On my podcast, Authentic Conversations, I often discuss my love for journaling. Recently, I’ve been organizing my journal notes in preparation to publish Part II of my Authentic Me series: The Forgiveness Journey. Release allows for an opportunity for forgiveness and emotional healing.
4. Create safe spaces and opportunities for calmness
This is simple. Find something that you enjoy or a combination of things that bring you total relaxation, and repeat! Remove the excuse that you don’t have enough time to squeeze in self-care… the quality of your life depends on it!
5. BE AUTHENTIC!
The decision to live life authentically requires a shift in mindset that begins with being totally honest with who you are. Read my blog at thauthentic.com for an excerpt from Authentic Me, Chapter 3: Private Life vs. Public Lies where I discuss the personal struggle that arises when you live your life solely for public applause. You possess the authority to create the life you deserve. And remember, “to live authentically is the ultimate form of happiness.”
• Author Tiffany Hill is an attorney, speaker, filmmaker, podcaster and advocate for women who have been subjected to domestic abuse. Tiffany is Executive Producer of The Last Time, a domestic violence awareness film project. Learn more at www.thauthentic.com | Social media: @th_authentic